Wednesday, June 10

{things that make you go hmmm}

I just discovered Angie's Blog Bring The Rain today via Danielle at Well, That's Just Fabulous.  Wow.  First off, I think of myself as being more "spiritual" than overly religious, and my motto has always been "treat others as you would have them treat you".
Religious undertones notwithstanding, Angie's post HERE was a great read.  In fact I loved it.  If you would only read one paragraph--read this:
"I have noticed a sad theme in many parts of the blog world, and it is disheartening to see people scrutinizing each other. Tearing down the good and building up the worst, endlessly searching for the thing that will make another person hurt.  It's always the ones that are the most wounded who come searching, and what they find are others that are vulnerable. They all gather around and try to ignite a fire where God is at work."
  If you want to get thousands of followers and hundreds of comments on one post (if that is your thing), then follow her lead.  Or her technique.  Whatever you call it.  Get this--instead of a post bashing something or someone--she writes about how to just be a better person.  And hundreds of people comment.  Wow!  Wouldn't the blog world be such a nice place if some people didn't feel it was cool to write mean or snarky posts just to get lots of comments?  I think so.   :)
I, too, have noticed a sad trend in the blog world as of late.  Negative posts and negative comments.  No, someone writing a post and publishing it on their blog is not "asking" for other people's mean comments.  A blog is someone's personal space--their virtual home--on the web.  I would not visit someone at their home and then insult them.  So, why leave a negative comment? I don't get it.  I'm not saying that all comments have to be in agreement with the post.  If someone posts an outfit and asks what people honestly think about it, then I think it is okay to say "I think it doesn't do your figure justice", or something like that if that is your opinion.  I'm not writing this because of anything that has been written or commented on here on my own blog, but I have seen it on others' blogs lately and it makes me feel....well, icky.
Oh, and while I'm venting---wanna know what irks me?  People who judge other people.  Like people who come over and have never read my blog before and immediately assume that they know what I am all about.  Well, anyway it happened on a friend's blog today and the commenter said this (and more nonsense) about basically all of our blogs:
" It’s a world of entitlement and superficiality that is not to be believed. Bye, and thanks for the strange enlightenment."

Umm, no actually, strange commenter--you don't know our world--my world--at all.  I work hard and I play hard.  Once a long time ago when I started this blog I had a commenter tell me that I needed to get a life and maybe I should visit India so that I could help other people besides myself.  This comment literally cracked me up.  Hello???  I am a nurse--I help people all day long!  My entire life and my husband's entire life revolves around caring for sick people with our home and cell phones ringing 24/7, and one of us getting up in the middle of the night because we are on call for surgery!  Now, who looked like the moron after this comment?  Me or the person who took time out of their miserable day to come over and leave a derogatory comment on a stranger's blog?   This blog is about the fun part of my life--the not-so-serious part.  And I'm not changing it.  
In my picture search I happened upon these t-shirts below and I think they're hysterical!

53 comments:

Preppy 101 said...

That t-shirt is so true!! haha

Alicia said...

Be nice or leave...exactly.

Prep-E Girl said...

:)

-E

Patina Cabachon said...

AMEN SISTER!!!!!

HeidiG said...

Well said, thank you!!!

NINA said...

Fabulous post, my friend Petunia! And, the t-shirt... Great Find!!! xoxo

dinagideon said...
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dinagideon said...
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dinagideon said...

Oh, yes, oh, yes...total agreement.

If someone wants to start something with me on my blog and I don't have the energy to fight it, I just simply say, "my blog, my rules." ;)

sparrowsandsparkles said...

well said, Petunia.

lisagh said...

bravo!

lisagh said...

bravo!

lisagh said...

bravo!

Sweet, Sassy, and Always Classy said...

Thank you, thank you, thank you!!! Very well said, Mrs. Petunia! I don't understand all the mean posts either? I can't image why anyone would get pleasure from making snide, rude, condescending or sarcastic remarks at anyone's expense. Thank you for standing up and saying what needs to be said.

Pink Martini said...

Really a wonderful post and I'm so glad you shared your feelings with us. And what a blessing to others you are their caregiver too. xoxo

Needs Help said...

I could not agree with you more! The amount of negative energy out there really shocks me. I just don't get it that more people cannot follow the simple rule of "if you don't have anything nose to say don't say anything at all"!!

That being said I've really enjoyed your blog for quite sometime; love keeping up with the "fun" part of your life :)

Jules said...

You could not have said it better and I may have to checkout that blog that you mentioned. I am in complete agreement with you and don't understand why someone would take the time to come on someone else's blog just to bash them and leave mean comments.

I'm from the school of if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all.

Jill said...

I totally agree with you. Be nice or leave! Well said, Petunia.

Danielle said...

Amen, sister! :)

I love this post. I don't know how much you know about Angie's story (the story of her sweet baby girl Audrey that passed away a year ago) but you should go back and read it. Every post is beautifully written.

Stylestance said...

Well said. Here's a great resource for a dose of niceness: www.operationnice.com :)

Jo said...

Couldn't agree with you more ~ nicely put!

Have a great day~
Jo

Slastena said...

Oh Petunia! Thank you for this post! My scentiments exactly.
I always wonder myself what propmts other people to be negative, and with time I came to realize it's their own insecurity and inner turmoil.May God grant them peace of mind!:)

Heather said...

Well said! I hope you have a good day.

The Chic Chauffeur said...

I love it, and I love reading your cheerful blog! You hit the nail right on the head.... These blogs are just a snippit. Who on earth would have the energy to completely and accurately chronicle their entire existence? And who would want to?

CashmereLibrarian said...

Wonderful post, Petunia. And that's why I like you so much! :-)

ashley said...

yeah i totally agree! i can't stand the mean people.

Family Life said...

You said it Miss Petunia! xoxo

Emily said...

Funny that you did a post about this b/c I too have noticed an abundance of snarkiness in the blogging world lately. You could not have said it any better. Thanks for this post!

Poolside with the Girls said...

Well said. I've noticed the same thing in blog world. I am not giving mean people any more of my time. It's in short supply as it is. Great post!

midnight macaroons said...

Great T-Shirt: "Be Nice to Nerds (you'll be working for one)." Love it! As for your post; I agree 100%I think too many people need to log off and join the real world. When you get enough experience by going through enough BS in life you realize that you should keep your mouth shut until you have all the facts. And sometimes it's easier to say, "Wow, that's interesting" and walk away. I think the mass is a bunch of babbling idiots but I hold tongue constantly because it takes too much of my time & energy to argue. And at the end of the conversation; nothing is going to change but my blood pressure. That's called maturity to walk away in disagreement but everyone feels these days like their opinion matters (they feel they are starring on a reality show or something). Truth, nobody really cares. So to blast someone on their blog is just a waste of everyone's time. A blog dedicated to attack others? Wow, that person really needs to get out and volunteer. At least it would be productive.

Stephanie said...

Well done! I could not agree more!

Jemma Ruby said...

Oh P what a nice post, somone wrote something nasty on my blog when I was just starting and it was so discouraging, I dont know why anyone would do that. i think people do stuff in the blog world that they would hopefully never do face to face and it is just sad there are so many rude people out there. I love your pink, cheery blog- it always makes my day!

Marietta said...

What a wonderful post, Petunia! Definitely well said, and I couldn't agree with you more.... yay to you and your great blog!

Mrs. K said...

ha! i have that magnet on my fridge! :)

agree with everything you say...I feel it's ok to vent every once in a while about your own stuff-but I hope and I don't think Ive ever gone to someone else's place and completely insulted them...if I don't have anything nice to say I say nothing at all

Jaina said...

Great post Petunia. I'm right there with you. My approach to my blog and to my life in general (particularly in written form), is never say anything you wouldn't want the person in question to hear or ask you about. Honesty is great, but there is a very thin but distinct line between honesty and bashing/cruelty. You have to learn how to not cross it. It also entails learning to steer clear of gossip. I absolutely love this post...very well worded. And that t-shirt is too funny :)

Kappa Prep said...

This was a fabulous post and I also loved Angie too. Like many in the blgo world I have dealt with unkind strangers firsthand. I have NEVER understood why someone would feel the need to bash anyone. It just does not make sense. I personally try and keep ym blog happy, postive and fun and while I am sure there are people who do not agree with what I type that does not give them the right to be cruel. There is a kind why to share your opinion. I am so glad so many are finally speaking out and standing up!!

Cas said...

Great post...well said!

Preppy in the City said...

I totally agree! that shirt cracks me up! Have a good night!

Domestic Diva said...

Nicely said! I think that a lot of our blogs are positive and highlighting our many blessings. I know that the blogs I follow...are the only that I really comment on. As I consider them blogger friends... we are all just sharing a small part of our lives with each other.
I can't imagine some one taking the time to view blogs and make rude comments... what is the point?
HUGS!!
xxx me

MMW said...

it's true, I only know you through your blog - but I love what I read here. Obviously our blogs don't represent our WHOLE LIVES - but that's okay. Too bad for people who have to bring others down. Do they do it to make themselves feel better?

My Blonde Reality said...

You know the nastiness that I encountered. People being mean, just to be mean. I agree with you 100%.

Why is being nice so difficult? This boggles my mind. If people don't like someone's blog, then don't read it. Snarky comments simply aren't neccesary.

Benjamin Franklin was a brilliant man and there are many of his quotes that have made me have little epiphanies when I have read them. This is one of my favorites, not exact wording but something like this,

"Actions done in anger, end in shame."

So true.

Thanks for the great post P!

Anonymous said...

great post!

i'm new to the blog world, but didn't think for a second that i knew everything about you. i understood immediately that what we are privy to is what you CHOOSE to share and more importantly what you CHOOSE to focus on.

petuna, you should know that i'm going through an incredibly challenging time in my life right now and that stopping in to read your blog a couple times a week brightens my day. why? it's a reminder for me to look for the positive and to seek out beauty and joy in my OWN life. because it IS there.

i slow down, take a deep breath and remember to pamper and care for myself no matter what. sure Lilly is lovely, but joy doesn't have to cost a lot. i've rediscoved the beauty in a simple meal shared with loved ones...or the fun in looking down and seeing my toenails painted in a bright, cheery color. a Louis wallet would be nice, but starting my day with a $2.50 bottle of delicious smelling (Suave) shower gel or something as basic as taking the time to put on a pleasing and feminine outfit (comprising of treasures found at Target!) before i head out to face my day -- makes me feel human. it give me perspective.

sure things are tough for me right now, but there is joy and beauty EVERWHERE if you look for it.

thank you for all that you do.

Tres Poshe Preppy said...

LOVE this!!! I've had some doozy comments left... I learned to turn my comment moderator on earlyin my blogging experience... sadly. I just delete before I even read any further, not worth my time.

Get a life people!!!

A Bigger Closet said...

Well said Petunia. I've seen those negative and judgemental comments on my own as well as other blogs too. I've adopted a zero tolerance policy for this on my own blog and simply hit the delete button.

Purple Flowers said...

It's pathetic that unhappy people feel the need to get in the blogsphere, and try to ruin someone's day. They are jealous, unhappy, unfulfilled and mad. It would help if everyone turned on the moderator so there's more control re: this invasiveness of ill-will.

Europafox said...

I've been reading a lot of stories of this negative commenting and it is quite shocking - but lets all remember there are so so many great people blogging out there, all with fun and interesting things to say that brighten our day (and not to the person that referenced superficiality - maybe we are all just trying to focus on the beautiful and happy things in life?) - hopefully it will all subside.

kim-d said...

I just happened upon your blog from another, and had to comment on this post.

I am a blogger...a totally different kind of person, older than you and your readers, at a different stage of life. WHICH IS EXACTLY WHY I LIKE READING YOUR BLOG AND OTHERS THAT ARE NOT SIMILAR TO MINE. It is a good thing, in my opinion, to get outside of my own little world, and I find your blog (and others) to be completely refreshing and fun.

I don't understand why anyone would want to be mean, judgmental and leave nasty, snarky comments to someone; I don't understand what that could possibly do for a person, including making them feel better about themselves. There is so much sad stuff in the world; when I have a choice, I will choose happy, fun and nice. The way it is here.

Keep on doing what you do!

Patois said...

This post? It's exactly why I'm happy you did privatize your blog and keep everyone away.

Clap clap clap clap.

My name is Megan... said...

Amen sister!!!! Very well said :) Love your blog!

Preppy Sue said...

I agree, well said!

BLC :o said...

Get it girl! I am a huge fan of this post (and your blog, of couuuurse)! Xoxo-BLC

Beth said...

You go girl! Great post!!

:)

Belle (from Life of a...) said...

Goodness, I wonder what "strange enlightment" even means? I'm with you, Petunia. I would never presume to insult a fellow blogger. If we disagree with another person's sentiment on a particular topic then we by no means have to read their blog. Being ugly to a blogger is kind of like going to someone's home and being a rude guest...there's just no call for it.